Don't Know How to be American

Hello, my name is Christie Albaugh and I have been serving with K.I.M since April 2009. Tomorrow, July 11th, 2010 I am headed on a plane back 'home' to California. Since I have headed up the blog posting during my time here, I thought it only appropriate that I share one last blog on some transitioning home thoughts. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading....



I take my coffee with 1 splenda, 1 Tbs. of hazelnut sugar free creamer, and 3-4 ants. The last part isn't a preference, it's more like a reality. There's always ants in the coffee pot here. There's just too many to get out, so instead we ignore them and brew the coffee, ants included. Because this is the Philippines-- T.I.P. as we like to say-- there's a long list of normalcies that you would never find back in the good 'ol US of A. But that's okay, because not only have I learned to live with them, but I've accepted them, and they have become a part of my everyday life… a part of who I am. This is my life.

This is my life. Instead of wake up and smell the coffee, I wake up and smell the fish. I live in Cuatro, a poor, mostly squatters area representative of your average Filipino "homes". The streets are filled with trash and dirty, hungry kids playing in it. The mangy, starving dog with ribs popping out and sores covering it's body begins to blend in with the background…. a sight that would previously make me stop and stare in genuine concern for the 'poor dog' has now become normal. How do I worry about the animal, after all, when their are so many starving and needy people instead?

This is my life. I live in the dirt. It blows into my window and on my bed every day. I sweat 70% of the time. The other 30% is when I'm sleeping. I drive like a native. I swerve, I honk, I never signal, and I regularly cut people off; I drive on the opposite side of the road when needed, I go through the intersection when it's not my turn, and when I'm driving, pedestrians never have the right of way. I eat fruit about five times a day, it's so cheap and so delicious! I live in a house with anywhere from 10 to 100 people, depending on how many teams are here. It's always a mess, always noisy, and the dishes are sprawled out everywhere. And no matter what, I know never to plan anything, because plans always fall through, things are always changing, and you always have to keep on your toes!

This is my life, and somehow it's all worth it. The completely different, often frustrating cultural differences, the lack of a comfortable home, the go go go and the constant exhaustion, the being away from family and friends and the difficulties of support raising…. it's all very much worth it! Because when I feed my two little rascals breakfast or give them their first shower in days, it's worth it. When I'm greeted at the children's home by la pair of tiny legs running at me, arms wide open, yelling "Tita Kissty," it's worth it. When I look at Roseanne and I see the wheels turning and my devotion message start to make sense in her head, it's worth it. And when Vanessa jumps up to hug me at the end of every devotion, and thanks me for sharing, it is very much worth it!

This is my life. I live in a community of focused, intentional people. I share my life with other people called to minister to the same people group as me. We share stories over meals and meet for 10am coffee breaks, sweating extra but enjoying every second of it. I walk up the street with tons of kids yelling my name who I haven't even met yet. They smile and they wave yelling "hello" until you return the gesture. We fight for kids who can't fight for themselves. We provide education to kids who can't afford to go to school. We talk to anyone who will listen about our experiences because these kids and the people we meet have become our family! I'd give up my life to protect any one of them because they mean the world to me and I love them.

This is my life. This is how I live. And the thought of that changing is absolutely killing me. I don't want it to change. I don't want to say goodbye to my friends. I don't want to not be there to feed Imon breakfast. I don't want to stop Tuesday/Thursday devotions with the older girls. And I don't want to live in a place where people are more focused on themselves than they are on others. How can I be okay with my big room and soft, clean carpet, when my two favorite boys in the world are sleeping on hard dirt floor? How can I go back to school to get my masters degree when 14 year old Vanessa is still in grade 5 and needs a lot of help to catch up. How can I share a house with my two dogs, healthier than most of the kids I meet on the street? How can I yet again adjust my "normal" and return to the way things used to be???

I'm addicted to the dirty Manila air. Somewhere along the way, I got used to it. I've been breathing this dirty, polluted air for so long now that I'm not sure I even know how to breathe clean air anymore. I don't know how to be American. And I'm not really sure if I want to....